I Hope You’re All Right

“Where do people who drop off the edge of your world end up?”

— David Mitchell, Ghostwritten

When I come back home (and here by “home” I mean the house where my mother and brother live), I often get thinking back about people who’ve been important to me, some of whom dropped the edge of either my world or the world.

It may sound like I’m really old, I know. Like I have tens of dead people in my most treasured part of memory, and so on. It’s not about the number of people, though, just like it’s not about age.

In fact, there are only a couple of people I think of at such times. Today, I remembered a girl I met at the hospital where we were both treated for anorexia. Not even talking much to each other, Marta and I became friends, but then she was transferred to another hospital because her condition was really bad.

A couple of months after we last saw each other, I lost her number. Since then, I’ve tried to find her on various social net sites, but to no avail.

I know there’s no chance of meeting her accidentally, but on days like this one I wonder: if I did, would I recognize her? In other words, has she overcome the illness? Is she all right? In fact, I don’t even know which world’s edge I should say she dropped off.

So today I was sitting at the table in my room, listening to this great (great for crying) song, and thinking about Marta, when my mind went “well, well, well,” and started generalizing.

Why is it I always befriend people with mental problems, whose past is marked by suicide attempts, bouts of depression and/or addiction, and many other sad stories? Is everyone like that, or am I attracted to such people?

But then I told my mind to stop. Because no matter what the case is with my friends, they’re fucking great. And that’s what counts: them being interesting, funny, intelligent, (not always) courageous, supportive, and above all: forever awesomely themselves.

And even if some of them one day drop off the edge of my world, I will remember them this way: as the troubled, wonderful people they are.

Thanks for getting me acquainted with the song, lotny. And take care, everyone.

Mulan

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mulan92

I'm an unprofessional writer, reader and translator. I'm also a walking, breathing and listening addict. And I love being all that.

5 thoughts on “I Hope You’re All Right”

  1. Well, I like to think that behaviours don’t fall from heaven and neither do people we tend to make friends with. Sounds cheesy, but I really believes everything happens for some reason. Sometimes it takes ages and a lot of effort to find that reason, but I think it always is there. Sometimes undiscovered, but still there.
    Nice tune 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. For a moment I wondered why you wanted to add “for fuck’s sake” after “believe” in that sentence. ;D
        And I agree there must be a reason. I don’t know which one it is (i.e. whether everyone is troubled or I just choose troubled people for friends), I’m not sure if I’ll ever decide it. For now I think it could be both.

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  2. I guess that everyone goes through their own share of woe. It’s what you pay attention to while talking to them that makes you generalise in such a way, I think. It’s what they stress and pay attention to. I mean, if they stressed different events in their lives you would remember them for that, not for being troubled. Another thing is that, I guess, I at least happen to look for soulmates in this world, people with similar values, people in whom I can confide and whom I trust, and this is how it works – we look for similar people to us because we just want to feel *normal* and accepted, I think. But there is no such concept as *normal* just the mainstream imposed by the media and culture we are a part of, I guess. 🙂

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    1. I think it’s more about me paying attention to certain things than people stressing things about themselves. Cos sometimes I disregard things people tell me about themselves altogether. Like when someone tells me how much they work out – I forget such stuff, no matter how much they stress it.
      And you’re totally right about “normality”. The fact that we all want to feel accepted and, as you say, normal, explains a lot, actually.

      Liked by 1 person

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