Always Safe to Complain… Or Is It?

People of my nationality are known for complaining at all times and about everything, but even though I would say this stereotype is quite justified, this post is not going to be about Polish people.

It’s going to be about what some might think they do when they complain, and about what I recently started to think that we actually do when we complain.

Because we all complain, right? We never stop whining about our stupid bosses, poor health, lazy partners, bad roads, ugly weather — you just name it.

Some of us might think that when we complain…

  • we help ourselves feel better

Because we’ve let the frustration out of our systems, unloaded it unto somebody else. And with no harm to that somebody, because seriously, how many people actually care enough to feel sorry for us?

  • we bond

Because complaining about the same things together brings us closer, and makes us like each other more, doesn’t it? We deal with the same shit, and that surely means something.

But what I recently started to think about complaining runs against these two interpretations. First of all, I noticed that sometimes, I complain about things that don’t bother me much, or even about such that I’m satisfied with.

For example, my studies: yes, they’re time-consuming, yes, they’re far from easy, but am I really dissatisfied with the way they are? I chose the translation faculty because it seemed challenging, and I’m happy about the fact it really is.

Still, I complain about it. When my co-students gather in the corridor to complain about the amount of homework, or whatever, I join in or nod in agreement. Because it’s a safe and easy thing to do, and why would I want to diverge from others?

It’s safe, it’s easy, but there’s always an end to this sense of convenience. There always comes a moment when I realize I have been complaining about a thing I’m in fact completely fine with, or in other words… that I’ve been pretending. And that’s a really inconvenient thing to realize.

Because then, you start to wonder: how many of the things I do have I really chosen to do? How many are just a result of the inert desire to blend in with others and not cause any “problems”?

I think that now I know why it is that sometimes complaining, instead of helping with stress, and helping to bond, is so dead tiring.

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mulan92

I'm an unprofessional writer, reader and translator. I'm also a walking, breathing and listening addict. And I love being all that.

6 thoughts on “Always Safe to Complain… Or Is It?”

  1. This is such a good point… that’s whu I think one should – at least sometimes – make some problems. We shouldnt be afraid of becoming a nuisance more than we are afriad of being true to ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now? Only now you’ve noticed that? 😀 I don’t like complaining, to put it mildly. I see it every time anybody else does it as I really dread it, especially when I do it myself. I’m not innocent, but the smallest complaint can cause a freaking butterfly effect and dissatisfaction. Instead of complaining, I’d rather think of stuff as a challange. And I’d like people to tell me every time when I complain that I do so because words, words don’t lead anywhere, they just express thoughts and more often than not, those who complain do nothing to ameliorate their own situation. It’s human to complain, but to do it about the things that we chose for ourselves and that were supposed to lead as somewhere and make us happier is so demeaning and aimless. As if we were brainless – who elese would consciously choose put himself/herself in a place that would make them unhappy?
    It’s not bonding that complaining does to people. It a legitimation to give up, we do it in case we fail, to be justified, because we’re afraid of being judged… mostly by ourselves. Nobody else cares, they will nod and while some think that it’s okay not to do a thing of two, because it was too hard, the other just grind their teeth and carry on and these are the people that achieve something, I think, then they appreciate where the whole process took them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahaha, I’d like to edit my misspellings 😀 Don’t be bothered by them.
      *the others
      *it’s a legitimation…
      and others 😀

      Like

      1. I’m not bothered. And I’ve been noticing it for some time, but only recently did I begin to (sometimes) stay back when the others are complaining… Took me some time to realize just how soul-crushing this can be.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. That is something that I also became aware at university – which was a reason for me to start thinking more about what I was saying in general! Because I did complain to feel included, a part of something bigger – and after a while I realized that people who I was talking to didn’t know me at all, and neither did I know them. So in my opinion complaining as a past time creates just… false feeling of camaraderie. On the other hand, complaining about something that does bother me – that’s always invigorating 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the point! Complaining might seem like a good and easy way to get closer especially with people that you don’t know very well, but at the end of the day, you may realize you’re just tired of it, and that you haven’t really found out more about those people or hit it off with them, either. So basically, doing it for this reason sucks.

      Like

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