I have a rat. It’s been sitting on my desktop for a few days now. Like all rats, it has the tendency to reappear in bad times.
It appears whenever I’m sad for a period of time longer than a few days.
I won’t show it to you because it’s a very private rat, just like my sadness is a private business, most of the time.
But I can talk about it if I want to. I wasn’t able to do this when I was younger. The rat had to stay somewhere out of sight, in the basement, I think (I was never quite sure of its whereabouts back then).
Under no circumstances did I want to see it, let alone let anyone else see it. Rats aren’t nice animals, you know.
But amid all this maturing, thinking and rethinking, I discovered that you can make friends with your rat even if it’s not nice.
Perhaps you’ll also be able to tame it so that it doesn’t eat you from the inside anymore. I haven’t yet convinced mine to stop doing that.
But I’m trying. When times are bad, I’m putting it on my desktop and say hello to it every time I switch on my laptop so that it feels accepted, and appreciated, too.
Nothing to be scared of — I tell myself, and it gives me that serious, reassuring look.
Have a great day,
Post scriptum: You can read a Polish version of this post at uczesiemowic.blogspot.com.